Anger is a powerful emotion. On the one hand, we are told to express it because bottling it up may cause us harm. On the other hand, the way we choose to express it often causes unnecessary harm to others. This is particularly true in workplace relationships between leaders or managers and staff. The implicit understanding of where the power lies in such relationships makes anger very frightening to experience. Employees tend to react to a boss’ anger by catastrophising: ‘I’m going to lose my job.’

This is even the case in organisations where people rarely get fired. Recently I was working in one such enterprise. Despite what I consider to be an abnormally low staff turnover, managers and staff honestly believed that every day they were walking a tightrope. That, despite an average tenure of ten years, their job could end at any moment. Just imagine how exhausting that must be, and how unproductive.

When people are afraid, the rational part of their brain goes into pause mode. This reduces their ability to complete normal tasks and completely inhibits anything more creative.  Employees default to the emotional part of the brain (the part that is capable of feeling but completely incapable of communication) and simply hope to survive the day. Prolonged exposure to fear swiftly leads to wellness issues as people develop their own coping mechanisms. These vary from eating too much of the wrong food, to alcohol and substance abuse. Even worse, employees go home and vent their unhappiness on the people who look up to them.

It is natural for bosses to feel anger, when they are frustrated with a lack of progress. Or when a customer gets angry with them. Or the Board questions their ability. But allowing the anger reflex to kick in, without pause for thought, will produce negative outcomes.

The Greek philosopher and teacher, Aristotle, wrote: “Anybody can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power. And that is not easy.”

So, in a world where we are becoming exposed to the value of greater emotional intelligence, being a ‘cross boss’ is something we need to fix. Each successive generation that joins the workforce has less tolerance for it.

Finding a productive way to use anger starts with developing your own self-awareness. Many ‘cross bosses’ actually lack independence and assertiveness, and their language of self-expression is limited. That’s where life coaching might help them.